No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
