Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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