i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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