By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My Sexting was not on an AP level
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
