Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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