When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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