My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
