My hand turned me down
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
