the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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