Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
