Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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