this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize