"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
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The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
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YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The ass gains better be worth it
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