mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
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She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
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I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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