I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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