i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
