nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
