You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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