Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
