Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
