So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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