Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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