I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
