i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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