Just cropdusted the office
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
