He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i think my cat just said my name.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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