I CAN MOONWALK!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
