waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize