so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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