The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
