Me too!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
