Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
