i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
