so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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