just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
