no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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