physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
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Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
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Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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