i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
