It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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