I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
