My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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