Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
