you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
