3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
