I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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