Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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