I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Randomize