I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
