good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Someone shattered a urinal.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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