Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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