Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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