I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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