She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
