I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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