apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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