do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
