Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
