Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
